Break #1 And Counting

Maybe I don’t want to be thought of as beautiful if people keep calling me that and I break their hearts and they break mine
Maybe I don’t want to be the girl that everyone calls different and somehow, against all logic, stands out in the crowd
Maybe I just wanted to be yours
Your who kissed my collarbone and told me
You like the way that I live
that I tell it like it is and I’m special and you want to get to know me better because you can tell
I’m a wonderful person, beautiful inside, beautiful outside
but I can’t live in maybes
where every heartbeat feels like heart break
each pump uncertainty, each pump the brakes holding me back
I don’t feel like any of those things that you say
I don’t feel like a wonderful person
I feel like someone broke me a long time ago
and then some tall dark knight tried to tape the pieces together
but I didn’t let him so he moved on then you came along
and I thought maybe this time
maybe this time I will hold my pieces together on my own.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
You wrap your arms around me and I lay my head on your chest and I could tell
one day
one day if I said I do, you would. You would build me a house and kiss my forehead like you did but now you’re going to be kissing someone else’s forehead and I can’t think anything, anything but
I’ve never met someone quite so
sweet, quite so
I can’t help but think anything
that I made a mistake
No one will ever be the same as you so I wish I could forget that smile and your hands, because I thought after that dark knight dark night I could never hurt this much again but
I have so much else to say and might as well just end with
no one knows everything and
I’ll never know you again